Deuteronomy 10 & 11: Always on time!

What a night, everything went from bad to worse. Keimani, who has come so far in learning to control his emotions, reached a breaking point. Was it all the teasing from Colton? Was it the jet lag, time change or sleep deprivation? I tried to step in, thinking I was doing the right thing by keeping him in the room, but it backfired completely. Not only did it fail to de-escalate the situation, things got worse. Keimani stormed out, breaking things along the way, and in his anger vandalized other things on his way out the door. In that moment, it felt like I had failed him, like I had pushed him into a corner where he had no choice but to react. In the chaos, I found myself wondering, What might I do differently if this happens again? I could see the frustration in Skyler’s eyes, and the weight of the moment hit me hard.

Was Keimani a “bad” kid for what he did? Absolutely not. Is Colton navigating this new reality perfectly? Far from it. The truth is, neither of them is bad. Im also not bad. We are all just learning to find our way in a world that’s been turned upside down.

Fostering and adoption isn’t about fixing kids — it’s about walking beside them in their mess, even when it’s messy for you too.

The next morning, after tossing and turning most of the night, I turned to Deuteronomy 11 and found a much-needed reminder: “Keep in mind that I am not talking now to your children, who have never experienced the discipline of the Lord your God or seen His greatness…” (Deuteronomy 11:2). God reminded me that my children have seen His faithfulness and, by extension, I must model that same trust in Him, even when the journey feels so uncertain.

After a night like we had I can't help but wonder: Am I ruining my children? Have I messed up in how I’m disciplining or showing grace? What about my biological kids — am I hurting them more than I realize? These are questions that torment me regularly. I’m reminded that my responsibility is to create a safe space for all my children to grow, to learn, and to experience grace — even when I falter.

What I’ve come to realize is that fostering and adopting isn’t just about opening my home. It’s about embracing the messiness and the unknowns while trusting that God is in the midst of it. And in those hard moments, I remember what God said only a day ago in Deuteronomy 10:18-19: “He ensures that orphans and widows receive justice. He shows love to the foreigners living among you and gives them food and clothing. So you, too, must show love to foreigners, for you yourselves were once foreigners in the land of Egypt.”

As hard as it is, I know we are in the center of God’s will. And that doesn’t mean it’s going to be

easy or neat. It’s going to be messy, and that’s okay. Im learning I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to fix everything. I must lean into God’s grace, and in doing so, I hope to show my children what it looks like to trust in Him — no matter the chaos.

God continues to work in my heart and in the hearts of my children. It’s not about being flawless. It’s about being faithful. Im learning it means learning, growing, and trusting God in the mess.

I can't event begin to reiterate how thankful I am for the Word. It truly is my Manna; it's Always On Time.