What a mess Jacob found himself in today. Goodness! Jealousy is what stood out to me today, holy cow. It has literally got me reeling. All the consequences that came from her reaction to the pain of wanting children. Yikes. I can so see myself in this story.
“When Rachel realized that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She told Jacob, “Give me sons or I’ll die!””
Genesis 30:1 MSG
According to the Webster's dictionary, to be jealous is to feel resentment, bitterness, or hostility toward someone because they have something that you don't.
Hmmm so Jealousy must be bad right? Or can it be good? When I think of Jealousy like envy, I see it as wrong. When I see it like a basic need or even affection I see it as good.
Where or when have I allowed jealousy to be a guide instead of the gauge it's intended to be? Rachel was very frustrated because she didn't have something she thought she deserved to have and felt entitled to. The result was clearly jealousy. I wish she would have paused and processed what she was feeling versus acting on it. Here's the thing I see this response of Jealousy as a greater sign of a deep sadness because she wasn't able to conceive. How often bitterness or resentment can turn to envy/jealousy. I truly empathize with how she's feeling.
What I am truly struggling with is her reaction and the consequences of her reactivity. What an opportunity for me to lean into things I am currently experiencing Jealousy. Is it pride and insecurity driving it or is it a God given need or desire? I want to sift through what the feeling means so that i can reframe it with Truth or ask for what I need in healthy ways. Goodness knows I have already learned the hard way when I have been reactive jealous. Ha!
Im curious what this makes you feel or think?!
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